For as long as I can remember, I have been crazy about love.
As a child of the 70s, I grew up on Lady and the Tramp, Grease and Sweet Valley High romance novels. In my mind, there was nothing that couldn’t be saved by love.
So, when my first love broke up with me at the age of 16, and I was subsequently bullied, I was devastated and lost my sense of self-worth.
It would take decades before it returned.
For years, I searched for validation in others – in multiple boyfriends, in the men I danced for in the six years I was a stripper, in two husbands – and in being a high achiever.
I craved love and was afraid of being alone. Yet, after an emotionally abusive relationship in my early 20s, I was also terrified of losing myself. So, I would date men I was certain would never dump me, or I would fall in love, fear I was losing my independence, and run from the relationship only to repeat the pattern all over again with the next guy.
Despite earning a Bachelor of Arts degree, a Bachelor of Journalism degree and a Diploma in Business Administration, for most of my 20s and 30s, I was clueless about dating and relationships. But more so I was clueless about myself.
Desperate to get a better handle on love, after my second divorce at age 43, I read every book I could on dating, chemistry and attraction and tested what I learned on over 100 dates in one year.
In some cases, I fell flat on my face, but in others, I soared. I even met a man who checked off every box on my dream guy list.
When I expressed my enthusiasm about dating to other singles, however, many were bewildered. To them, dating was something on par with gauging their eyes out with a broken beer bottle. Furthermore, rather than experiencing the abundance of quality singles that I was, they couldn’t find decent people anywhere.
Clearly, I knew something they didn’t.
As an internal communications specialist in the Ontario government, I’d helped thousands of employees relate more effectively with each other and create meaningful connections at work.
“If I could help government workers experience more joy, passion and authenticity in their lives,” I thought, “surely, I could do the same for disgruntled singles.”
So, I started blogging, giving workshops on dating, became a certified life coach, and even wrote a book for women who want to understand men, date with confidence and put themselves first called Love Lessons from a Lap Dancer.
And, I launched Dating’s Changed to help people date with more confidence, clarity and ease.
But having the skills to create a connection can only take you so far if you lack a solid, sustainable loving connection with yourself.
Although I had learned to connect with others, I hadn’t given myself enough time to fully love myself, heal from all of the heartbreaks of my past, and change my patterns.
When my relationship with my “dream guy” ended, I recommitted to loving myself harder and stronger than I ever had before.
And, as I healed from that relationship and learned how to break those patterns, I extended my services to help people coming out of breakups similarly heal and discover how to reinvent themselves.
So, have I found my own happy ever after?
No. Just like you, I am a work in progress. But, I strongly believe the heart breaks so the light can get through; and, that my purpose, and the purpose of my story, is to help others who are struggling with similar experiences.
And, I am still absolutely crazy about love.
- I’m crazy about helping people fall in love with themselves.
- I’m crazy about helping people fall in love with life.
- And, I’m crazy about helping people find and fall in love with the right person for them.
And this is what I want for you.
Because, if life has taught me anything, it’s that opening yourself up to giving and receiving love, and connecting authentically from that place, opens you up to an entirely different world.
And, let’s face it, if the world needs more of anything right now, it’s love, sweet love.
If you think you might be ready to let more love into your life, I’d love to see if I can help you. Contact me with a line or two about what is going on in your life to set up a free half-hour consultation.
Or, if you’d like to get to know me better first, sign up for the Dating’s Changed newsletter for the inside scoop on how to get onto the path to the right person for you.